Exploring Grief Therapy Models and Practical Strategies for Coping with Loss

Grief is a deeply personal experience that affects everyone differently. When someone loses a loved one, the pain can feel overwhelming and isolating. Understanding how grief works and learning ways to cope can make this difficult journey more manageable. This post explores three well-known grief therapy models, the Kubler-Ross model, the Dual Process Model, and Worden’s Tasks of Mourning and discusses how counselling and practical strategies can support healing when you miss someone dear.

Understanding the Kubler-Ross Model

The Kubler-Ross model, introduced by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in the 1960s, is one of the most recognised frameworks for understanding grief. It outlines five stages that people often move through after a loss:

• Denial: Refusing to accept the reality of the loss.

• Anger: Feeling frustration or resentment about the situation.

• Bargaining: Trying to negotiate or make deals to reverse or lessen the loss.

• Depression: Experiencing deep sadness and withdrawal.

• Acceptance: Coming to terms with the loss and finding a way to move forward.

  
  

It’s important to know that these stages are not linear. People may revisit stages multiple times or experience them in a different order. The model helps normalise the complex emotions that arise during grief and provides a language to understand what’s happening inside.

The Dual Process Model of Grief

The Dual Process Model, developed by Margaret Stroebe and Henk Schut, offers a dynamic view of grieving. It suggests that people cope by oscillating between two types of stressors:

• Loss-oriented stressors: Focusing on the pain of the loss, memories, and emotions related to the deceased.

• Restoration-oriented stressors: Dealing with life changes, new roles, and practical adjustments after the loss.

  
  

This model highlights that healthy grieving involves moving back and forth between confronting grief and taking breaks to focus on daily life and rebuilding. It acknowledges that grief is not just about emotional pain but also about adapting to a new reality.

Worden’s Tasks of Mourning

J. William Worden’s model breaks grief into four tasks that help people work through mourning:

1. Accept the reality of the loss

   This means acknowledging that the person is gone and will not return.

   
   

2. Process the pain of grief

   Allowing yourself to feel the emotions that come with loss without avoiding or suppressing them.

   
   

3. Adjust to a world without the deceased

   This includes external adjustments (like managing finances), internal adjustments (changing your identity), and spiritual adjustments (redefining beliefs).

   
   

4. Find an enduring connection with the deceased while moving on

   Creating a way to remember and honor the loved one while continuing to live your life.

   
   

Worden’s tasks provide a practical roadmap for healing, emphasizing active engagement with grief rather than passivity.

How Counselling Supports Grief Recovery

Counselling offers a safe space to explore feelings and thoughts that can be difficult to face alone. A trained grief counsellor or therapist can:

• Help explore which grief model or approach fits your experience.

• Teach coping skills tailored to your needs.

• Provide emotional support and validation.

• Guide you through difficult emotions like guilt, anger, or confusion.

• Assist in rebuilding your life and relationships after loss.

  
  

For example, a counsellor might use cognitive-behavioral techniques to challenge negative thoughts or encourage journaling to process emotions. You might have unfinished business with your loss that needs processing in a safe, confidential space.

Practical Strategies to Cope When You Miss a Loved One

Counselling is valuable, but there are also everyday actions you can take to support your healing:

• Create rituals or memorials

Lighting a candle, planting a tree, or making a photo album can honor your loved one and provide comfort.

• Stay connected with supportive people

Reach out to friends, family, or support groups. Sharing memories and feelings helps lessen loneliness.

• Practice self-care

Eat well, get enough sleep, and engage in physical activity. Grief can drain energy, so caring for your body is crucial.

• Express your feelings

Write letters to your loved one, keep a journal, or use art and music to channel emotions.

• Set small goals

Focus on daily or weekly tasks to regain a sense of control and accomplishment.

• Allow yourself to feel joy

It’s okay to laugh, enjoy hobbies, or have good days without guilt. Healing includes moments of happiness.

When to Seek Professional Help

Grief is natural, but sometimes it becomes overwhelming or prolonged. Signs that professional help might be needed include:

• Intense sadness or numbness lasting more than six months.

• Difficulty functioning in daily life.

• Thoughts of self-harm or suicide.

• Feeling stuck or unable to move forward.

• Substance abuse or other harmful coping behaviors.

  
  

If you notice these signs, reaching out to a mental health professional can provide the support needed to heal safely.